Modern Love, Revised and Updated: True high quality Stories online sale of Love, Loss, and Redemption online

Modern Love, Revised and Updated: True high quality Stories online sale of Love, Loss, and Redemption online

Modern Love, Revised and Updated: True high quality Stories online sale of Love, Loss, and Redemption online
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Product Description

The most popular, provocative, and unforgettable essays from the past fifteen years of the New York Times “Modern Love” column—including stories from the anthology series starring Tina Fey, Andy Garcia, Anne Hathaway, Catherine Keener, Dev Patel, and John Slattery

A young woman goes through the five stages of ghosting grief. A man’s promising fourth date ends in the emergency room. A female lawyer with bipolar disorder experiences the highs and lows of dating. A widower hesitates about introducing his children to his new girlfriend. A divorcée in her seventies looks back at the beauty and rubble of past relationships.

These are just a few of the people who tell their stories in Modern Love, Revised and Updated, featuring dozens of the most memorable essays to run in The New York Times “Modern Love” column since its debut in 2004.
 
Some of the stories are unconventional, while others hit close to home. Some reveal the way technology has changed dating forever; others explore the timeless struggles experienced by anyone who has ever searched for love. But all of the stories are, above everything else, honest. Together, they tell the larger story of how relationships begin, often fail, and—when we’re lucky—endure.
 
Edited by longtime “Modern Love” editor Daniel Jones and featuring a diverse selection of contributors, this is the perfect book for anyone who’s loved, lost, stalked an ex on social media, or pined for true romance: In other words, anyone interested in the endlessly complicated workings of the human heart.

Featuring essays by:
Veronica Chambers • Terri Cheney • Deborah Copaken • Trey Ellis • Jean Hanff Korelitz • Ann Hood • Mindy Hung • Amy Krouse Rosenthal • Ann Leary • Andrew Rannells • Larry Smith • Ayelet Waldman • and more!

About the Author

Daniel Jones, who since 2004 has edited the weekly “Modern Love” column in  The New York Times, is also the author of  Love Illuminated, advisor to the  Modern Love podcast, and consulting producer for the  Modern Love streaming series. He lives in Northampton, Massachusetts, and in New York City.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Single, Unemployed, and Suddenly Myself

Marisa Lascher

I was thirty-­seven, single, unemployed, and depressed because in a couple of months I was going to be moving out of my studio apartment on East 23rd Street in Manhattan and in with my mother in Sheepshead Bay, Brooklyn. Since taking a buyout at my Wall Street firm, I had devoted myself to two activities: searching for a new job and working out. And I spent a lot of time in my apartment.

So did the three recent college graduates next door. At their weekend parties, a loud bass penetrated our shared wall starting at 10:30 p.m. In sweats, no makeup, and with my hair piled in a bun, I would go out and ring their bell around 11 p.m. (early, even by my geriatric standards) to ask them to quiet down.

One of them would appear, flush with alcohol and annoyance, and promise to turn it down. Usually they did. When they didn’t, I would call the doorman, the management company, and, once, the police. But the noise con­tinued.

My 23rd Street building was near three colleges. When I signed the lease, I didn’t realize the place had so many student renters, people who understandably liked to party. Yet it was the least social time in my life. Most of my friends were married. I had no income, and rent was almost $3,000 a month. I wasn’t dating because I hadn’t figured out how to positively spin my unemployment story.

One afternoon in the elevator, I saw one of the guys from next door in jeans and a T-­shirt, his dark hair slightly receding.

“Are you always around in the middle of the day?” he asked.

“For the last few months I have been,” I said. “I’m job searching.”

“I am too,” he said. “It’s my last year of law school.”

“Never leave a job without another,” I told him. People had warned me about this, but it was only after I’d done it that I realized how true it was. As we neared our doors, I said, “I’m moving out, so you guys can blast your music all night long. The mean old lady is leaving.”

“Why?” he asked.

“I can’t afford this any longer. I’m moving in with my mom in Brooklyn.”

“That sucks,” he said, then added: “It’s not me blasting music. It’s my roommates.”

Which made sense. He was always the kindest and most apologetic when I got angry. “How old are you guys?” I said. “Like, twenty-­three?”

“Yeah, well, I’m twenty-­three,” he said.

“I’m thirty-­seven. So I hope you get a younger neighbor the next go-­round.”

“I never would have guessed thirty-­seven,” he said. “I thought you were, like, twenty-­six.”

Was he sweet-­talking me? I looked the same age as my friends, but maybe the dormlike context had fooled him. That afternoon we ran into each other again; he was in a suit headed to an interview. I wished him luck.

Two weeks later, my friend Diana and I were sitting at a nearby bar, drinking vodka sodas, and looking at her Tinder app, when my twenty-­three-­year-­old neighbor popped up.

“Swipe right!” I said. “Tell him you’re out with me.”

She swiped, they matched, and she told him I was with her. I followed up with a text, proud to be out on a Saturday night. Here was proof that I, too, was fun. We messaged back and forth; he was on his way home. When I asked if he wanted to join us back at my apartment, he said yes.

Twenty minutes later Diana and I arrived, and he showed up with a bottle of vodka and cans of Diet Coke.

Soon he was laughing, saying, “My roommates can’t stand you. And I was always so confused why a twenty-­six-­year-­old was upset about our parties. I thought you were just an old soul.”

Diana and I danced to “Jump” by the Pointer Sisters, a song he didn’t recognize. Before Diana left at 4 a.m., she whispered to me, “He likes you. Hook up.”

I offered a hushed protest, insisting he was too young. But apparently the neighborly tension had been building, because he and I started kissing right after she left.

When we woke up, hung over, a few hours later, I begged him not to tell his roommates. My transformation from puritanical noise warden to Mrs. Robinson embarrassed me; my dulled brain screamed, “What just happened?”

But I won’t lie: It was also an ego boost. I may not have had a job, a husband, or a boyfriend, but at least I could attract an adorable twenty-­three-­year-­old.

Over the next few weeks, we texted constantly and kept getting together to talk about our dating and employment searches and to fool around. When I asked him if I seemed older, he said, “Not really. Mostly because you aren’t working and you’re around all of the time.”

I said: “When I graduated high school, you were four.”

One Sunday at 5 a.m., he got to experience the pleasure of being woken up in my bed by his roommates’ drunken rendition of “Oops! . . . I Did It Again.”

“This is really annoying,” he yelled, covering his head with my pillow.

“It’s payback,” I said. “Now you understand.”

With him, my usual romantic anxiety disappeared. Instead of projecting my insecurities onto him and wondering if I was enough, I just had fun because I knew our age gap made a future impossible. And I was moving out soon.

Not that my mind was entirely free of concerns. I worried people would think we were ridiculous. But when I told my coupled-­up girlfriends, they said I was living a fantasy.

“At least you’re having fun,” a soon-­to-­be-­divorced friend said. “None of us are. I didn’t even want to touch my husband at the end.”

Even so, the chasm between my new friend and me was no more glaring than when he said, “Dating is fun. I get to meet lots of people.”

Dating, for me, was about as fun as my job search. And that was because I approached both in almost exactly the same way: with a strategy, spreadsheets, and a lot of anxiety about presenting my best self and hiding my weaknesses. With him, though, I worried about none of that.

When he admitted he had no idea what he was doing with women and made things up as he went along, I assured him this wouldn’t change—­no one knew.

Our honest exchange was so refreshing. Dates my age disguised their fears with arrogance. Within an hour of meeting me, one had boasted about the amount of sex he’d had, and another, on our second date, gave me a heads-­up that his large size had caused many of his relationships to end. How considerate of him to warn me!

With appropriate romantic prospects, I had been overly polished and protective. Just like the men, I spun stories broadcasting fake confidence. But I confided in my neighbor about how hard the year had been and how worried I was about finding a job and a man to love. With nothing at stake, I was charmingly vulnerable.

One evening as we cuddled in my apartment, with me droning on about my man troubles and career fears, he said, “We get so fixated on the job we want or the person we’re dating because we don’t think there will be another. But there’s always another.”

I thought that was so true. Even wise. But it’s easier to have that attitude, about jobs or love, at twenty-­three than at thirty-­seven.

Then one night I came home a little too drunk and encountered him in the hallway. He was the one who almost always decided when we would hang out, and I complained it wasn’t fair that everything seemed to be on his terms. I was pressuring him, reverting to my worst dating default behavior, and he fled into his apartment.

The next day he texted: “maybe we should chill with this. you’ve been a good friend . . . we complicated it a little though haha.”

I knew “haha” was just his millennial way of keeping it light, but here’s the thing: In our “light” relationship, I had let myself be fully known, revealing all of my imperfections, in a way I normally didn’t. With him I was my true self, and it was a revelation.

And a conundrum. Because I can’t seem to be my true self when I’m seriously looking for love, when all I’m thinking about is the future. To win the person (or the job, for that matter), we think we have to be the most perfect version of ourselves. When our hearts are on the line, vulnerability can feel impossible.

A year later, I finally managed to be just perfect enough to land a job. I’m still working on allowing myself to be imperfect enough to find love.

Marisa Lascher lives in Manhattan and is a leader in designing empathy-­based approaches to strengthen organizational culture and employee performance. This essay appeared in October 2017.

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4.7 out of 54.7 out of 5
631 global ratings

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Top reviews from the United States

Kyliegirl
2.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
A really sad book
Reviewed in the United States on October 26, 2019
Stunningly sad, in fact. These are not stories of love so much as stories of loss and disappointment. The writing is good, as one would expect. But the experience of reading the collection is like being caught in an ever-worsening nightmare of anxiety, where all hope has... See more
Stunningly sad, in fact. These are not stories of love so much as stories of loss and disappointment. The writing is good, as one would expect. But the experience of reading the collection is like being caught in an ever-worsening nightmare of anxiety, where all hope has been edited out and people seem ashamed for ever believing love was possible.
21 people found this helpful
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Clara
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
So much better than the series
Reviewed in the United States on September 11, 2021
A friend recommended the series on Amazon and told me it was based on a book that was based on essays. Saw three episodes of the first season and decided I needed to read the original stories because of how great they were. Best decision I made. I cried I... See more
A friend recommended the series on Amazon and told me it was based on a book that was based on essays.
Saw three episodes of the first season and decided I needed to read the original stories because of how great they were.
Best decision I made.
I cried I laughed I felt everything I needed to feel and more. I’m recommending this book to everyone and I’m planning on re reading it frequently.
So much passion and emotion in each story. It’s not romance tacky Romeo Juliet stuff. It’s real modern love. It really is. This review is kind of a cliche. But really. I insist read the book. It got me thinking about myself my past relationships my current relationships, and not just like partner wise. I mean relationships with parents, siblings, the kids I want to have, and all that pressure going on.
Read it. I insist.
One person found this helpful
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Sylvia
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Uplifting!!!
Reviewed in the United States on October 29, 2019
The show on Amazon Prime is great but this book is amazing. It brought tears to my eyes reading these stories of love in many different presentations.
6 people found this helpful
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Roslynne Levine
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Beautiful collection of essays
Reviewed in the United States on February 17, 2020
Such an amazing collection of essays that explore all the different facets of love, from my favorite New York Times Sunday column, Modern Love. The writing is wonderful, and the vignettes are so heartfelt and relatable. Some I remembered. Some were new to me. But all are... See more
Such an amazing collection of essays that explore all the different facets of love, from my favorite New York Times Sunday column, Modern Love. The writing is wonderful, and the vignettes are so heartfelt and relatable. Some I remembered. Some were new to me. But all are gems about a cherished moment in time, filled with warmth, humor, insight, sadness, disappointment, and heartbreak, but most of all, honesty.
3 people found this helpful
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LauMic
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Gorgeous essay collection
Reviewed in the United States on October 6, 2019
I loved reading these essays. Every one was a gem, with humor, warmth and insights in abundance. Please read this book!
6 people found this helpful
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Oscar Wang
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Human and real. What a read!
Reviewed in the United States on October 30, 2019
Amazing collection. Wish there was more non-online content. Great for a coffee table & to casually read. Inspiring, heartbreaking, human, and real.
5 people found this helpful
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Elizabeth
4.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
I loved these essays
Reviewed in the United States on November 30, 2019
I have listened to the Modern Love podcast but the majority of these essays were new to me.
Many of the stories were very moving.
6 people found this helpful
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Jay M. & Jen P.
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Poignant and relatable quick reads!
Reviewed in the United States on December 20, 2019
This book was one that you might not want to put down, but could, because it''s appraised of so many short stories. A good read, that is at times poignant, and other times completely relatable - sometimes both at once, it is also funny. My only regret it that there are not... See more
This book was one that you might not want to put down, but could, because it''s appraised of so many short stories. A good read, that is at times poignant, and other times completely relatable - sometimes both at once, it is also funny. My only regret it that there are not MORE stories to read!
2 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

Wulf Krüger
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
The most beautiful and honest non-fiction book I’ve read
Reviewed in Germany on August 8, 2021
»Because real love, once blossomed, never disappears. It may get lost with a piece of paper, or transform into art, books, or children, or trigger another couple’s union while failing to cement your own. But it’s always there, lying in wait for a ray of sun, pushing through...See more
»Because real love, once blossomed, never disappears. It may get lost with a piece of paper, or transform into art, books, or children, or trigger another couple’s union while failing to cement your own. But it’s always there, lying in wait for a ray of sun, pushing through thawing soil, insisting upon its rightful existence in our hearts and on earth.« I recently watched the series “Modern Love” and - quite aptly - loved it. Since it was based on the New York Times column of the same name, I had high hopes there might be a collection of this column and that’s how I found this book which comprises about 40 of the most memorable essays from the column. I laughed, I cried and sometimes I did both at the same time. Some of the stories hit close to home, others deeply impressed me. Even right now while writing this and recalling some of the stories I’m a sniffling mess. The one defining quality of this collection of essays is its unapologetic honesty and truthfulness to its subject - love in all its forms. Whether you’re young or old, no matter the gender or sexual preference: Waste no time, get this book and read it. Five out of five stars and a place among my favourite books of all time. P.S.: To C., »He wasn’t really a texter anyway, so his lack of response didn’t necessarily reflect the weirdness of my text. It was probably normal for non-texters to see a text and not reply to it. They saw it, found it charming (or not), but didn’t think it required a response. Totally standard.«
»Because real love, once blossomed, never disappears. It may get lost with a piece of paper, or transform into art, books, or children, or trigger another couple’s union while failing to cement your own.
But it’s always there, lying in wait for a ray of sun, pushing through thawing soil, insisting upon its rightful existence in our hearts and on earth.«

I recently watched the series “Modern Love” and - quite aptly - loved it. Since it was based on the New York Times column of the same name, I had high hopes there might be a collection of this column and that’s how I found this book which comprises about 40 of the most memorable essays from the column.

I laughed, I cried and sometimes I did both at the same time. Some of the stories hit close to home, others deeply impressed me. Even right now while writing this and recalling some of the stories I’m a sniffling mess.

The one defining quality of this collection of essays is its unapologetic honesty and truthfulness to its subject - love in all its forms.

Whether you’re young or old, no matter the gender or sexual preference: Waste no time, get this book and read it.

Five out of five stars and a place among my favourite books of all time.

P.S.: To C., »He wasn’t really a texter anyway, so his lack of response didn’t necessarily reflect the weirdness of my text. It was probably normal for non-texters to see a text and not reply to it. They saw it, found it charming (or not), but didn’t think it required a response. Totally standard.«
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Julia
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Edição linda e histórias doces
Reviewed in Brazil on May 23, 2020
Um dos melhores que li neste ano. São histórias tão reais e bonitas que aquecem o coração. A edição é lindíssima, com capa em papel fino texturizado e páginas amareladas.
Um dos melhores que li neste ano. São histórias tão reais e bonitas que aquecem o coração. A edição é lindíssima, com capa em papel fino texturizado e páginas amareladas.
4 people found this helpful
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Charlotte
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Ce livre fait sourire ton cœur
Reviewed in France on October 22, 2020
❤️ En tant que romantique, j’ai toujours été fan de la chronique Modern Love du New York Times. Pour ceux qui ne le savent pas, ce livre provient de la chronique du journal et d''un podcast. Amazon a également fait une adaptation de la série (l''épisode "Take me as I am,...See more
❤️ En tant que romantique, j’ai toujours été fan de la chronique Modern Love du New York Times. Pour ceux qui ne le savent pas, ce livre provient de la chronique du journal et d''un podcast. Amazon a également fait une adaptation de la série (l''épisode "Take me as I am, whoever I am" avec Anne Hathaway est l''un des meilleurs, à regarder). ❤️ Toutes les histoires sont si différentes, mais ont toute quelque chose en commun : l''amour et la façon dont il nous affecte. Les écrivains ont peut-être mené une vie imparfaite, mais ils sont assez généreux pour donner un sens à ces expériences déchirantes. J''ai beaucoup appris à travers leurs voyages et avec leurs amours perdues, leurs amours impossibles, leur amour filial, tous les types d''amour. ❤️ Ce livre vous fera certainement pleurer, rire, imaginer et penser à quelqu''un/à quelque chose. Bonne lecture si vous voulez être touché par des histoires incroyables et diverses sur le thème de l''amour. Merci de me dire si vous pensez que cet avis a été utile :)
❤️ En tant que romantique, j’ai toujours été fan de la chronique Modern Love du New York Times. Pour ceux qui ne le savent pas, ce livre provient de la chronique du journal et d''un podcast. Amazon a également fait une adaptation de la série (l''épisode "Take me as I am, whoever I am" avec Anne Hathaway est l''un des meilleurs, à regarder).

❤️ Toutes les histoires sont si différentes, mais ont toute quelque chose en commun : l''amour et la façon dont il nous affecte. Les écrivains ont peut-être mené une vie imparfaite, mais ils sont assez généreux pour donner un sens à ces expériences déchirantes. J''ai beaucoup appris à travers leurs voyages et avec leurs amours perdues, leurs amours impossibles, leur amour filial, tous les types d''amour.

❤️ Ce livre vous fera certainement pleurer, rire, imaginer et penser à quelqu''un/à quelque chose. Bonne lecture si vous voulez être touché par des histoires incroyables et diverses sur le thème de l''amour.

Merci de me dire si vous pensez que cet avis a été utile :)
One person found this helpful
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Julia Mark
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Fantastic. Excelle
Reviewed in Canada on May 9, 2020
Fantastic. Wonderful blend of personal narratives about love of all kinds, heartache, family, singledom, boyfriends, partners, friends, parents, and everything that comes with it. It is endearing, and reminds us that everyone has something that they''re dealing with. I wish...See more
Fantastic. Wonderful blend of personal narratives about love of all kinds, heartache, family, singledom, boyfriends, partners, friends, parents, and everything that comes with it. It is endearing, and reminds us that everyone has something that they''re dealing with. I wish their was more! I want parts 2, 3, 4, 5 of the rest of the published essays.
Fantastic. Wonderful blend of personal narratives about love of all kinds, heartache, family, singledom, boyfriends, partners, friends, parents, and everything that comes with it. It is endearing, and reminds us that everyone has something that they''re dealing with.
I wish their was more! I want parts 2, 3, 4, 5 of the rest of the published essays.
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Leon García
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Increíble libro
Reviewed in Mexico on September 23, 2020
Excelente libro Estos ensayos inspiraron la serie original de Amazon Modern Love. Hay ensayos que merecen aparecer en una temporada dos. Esta divertido, emotivo, inspiracional... para cualquier empedernido romántico es una lectura muy buena. Muy recomendable.
Excelente libro Estos ensayos inspiraron la serie original de Amazon Modern Love. Hay ensayos que merecen aparecer en una temporada dos. Esta divertido, emotivo, inspiracional... para cualquier empedernido romántico es una lectura muy buena. Muy recomendable.
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Modern Love, Revised and Updated: True high quality Stories online sale of Love, Loss, and Redemption online

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Modern Love, Revised and Updated: True high quality Stories online sale of Love, Loss, and Redemption online

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